Pokiok Social

This is some text that will be edited in a little while. It’s a mirror page to Pokiok Bzzz — setup in order to accomodate certain individuals who stubbornly refuse to get themselves a free email account. Pfffttt!

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29 Comments

29 thoughts on “Pokiok Social

  1. Anonymous

    Further to Pokiok Social:

    K.C. Irving, Saint Pius X, & Spencer Tracey didn’t have (free) e-mail accounts either, but that didn’t stop them, did it?

    A Wanderng Minstrel I.

    • No, but they would have gone even farther, had they lived in our time and age.

      I have Pope Francis on Twitter … and I could email him, should I feel the urge.

      It’s really nothing to be afraid of, and one doesn’t have to announce it to the public, that one has an email address — just a trusted few 😀

  2. Dear “Fast Eddie”,

    What a joy it is for my humble ego to read your most flattering letter …. belauding and extolling my many virtues. It is most difficult for such a simple man as I am to keep track of them all. Are you in any way kith or kin to the famous ( or infamous ) Freddie ” The Freeloader” Doucet of Station Street fame? Like Fido the dog , it was rumoured he did odd jobs around the house and ran errands for Maud of Maud’s Bawdy Shop at 47 Water Street in days of yore.

    You mention Sisters Fartsie and Floozie … my heavens to Betsy as my dear sweet old mother would say … I remember them both so well! Fartsie was even immortilized in a very well-known limerick by some asphyxiated poet …

    I sat next to the Duchess at tea
    It was just as I thought it would be
    Her rumblings abdominal
    Were simply phenomenal
    Everyone thought it was me!

    whereas Floozie became the poster nun for a whole series of limericks all of which began with the words, ” There once was a girl from Nantuckett ” , thereby bringing glory and praise to her convent and order much the same way as Soeur Sourire , the Belgian nun , did for her congregation back in 1962 with her song , ” Dominique , nique , nique ! etc .

    So , my good friend , Eddie … tomorrow morning a few of us old boys are getting together for our weekly coflab at the Lansdowne Tim Horton’s at 11:15 or so …. Billy “the roofer ” Dowd ( hopefully ), Billy “The Eye” Carlin and Dickie Scott … although as I have recently learned that the latter is mostly referred to by the female population of the North End as simply ” The Boyfriend” …Drop by , if you can , and greet the boys…… and at the same time you might make a small contribution to our worthy cause for 2013-14 ” Combat Poverty at 144 Lansdowne Avenue” ….

    Yours in everything unholy , yet just !
    Kid Pokiok

  3. Anonymous

    Hi Kid Pokiok!

    I’m sure your many fans – both Catholic & Not-So-Catholic – will be delighted to know you and the new Pope can and will be communicating on a regular basis.

    Perhaps, in your wisdom, Kid Pokiok, you might warn Francis about the dangers lurking in the nuances of language as he writes letters to Odifreddi, the arch atheist! This is a dangerous course he has taken.

    “Fast Eddie” is currently conducting a weekend seminar in Maine where he is lecturing investors on the value of smart real-estate purchases. His “2IC man”, Gino Lucifugus, who also hails from Erin Street, sends greetings!

    Gino says Francis is in away over his head this time.

    Slainte!

    dickie.

  4. Anonymous

    Tally ho, Kid Pokiok …

    Gino (my 2IC man), has been in touch with me regarding your new association with Pope Francis.

    Knowing your impressive reputation for promoting the well-being of the RC Church, I thought you might be willing to mention me favorably to the Holy Father?

    I have several proposals in mind that would help stabilize the Vatican Bank and improve its world-wide community relations.

    ‘Hope you will consider my “offer”.

    Yours, in the art of the possible,

    “Fast Eddie” Doucet,
    A former altar boy & top catechism student.

  5. To my countless number of fans and supporters

    Given the ever – growing and lengthy chain of requests for speeches and public appearances on my part , I must admit that being Number One is indeed a humbling experience …. the exhilaration of which only the select few will ever know. I have spent my entire life inching my way up the mountain of Wisdom and Truth … and now that I have reached the summit ….. I can only feel a compelling urge to share my knowledge with those of you who are still struggling up the beginners slopes of the foothills below. Therefore , I shall try to answer as many of your recent queries and comments as possible in the following encyclical.

    First of all may I congratulate Sister Fartsie and Fast Eddie for their somewhat half-hearted attempt at settling their past differences. Rather serious accusations answered by caustic insinuations make for stormy relationships … all of which do not jive with true Christian values and behaviour. However , at least for the moment there is dialogue between the opponents …. better words than boxing gloves I guess !

    And now for the Popes and Piergiorgio Odifreddi … I say the Popes because Francis only initiated dialogue with the Italian atheist … Emeritus Pope Benedict , a major brain and dognatician , has stepped into the foreground of the whole exchange of ideas with an 11-page epistle sent COD to an unsuspecting Odifreddi … which the latter wrote about in a recent aricle entitled , ” Il Postino Suona Due Volte” … ” The Postman Rings Twice ” … referring to both Papal letters.. The outcome should be interesting to watch unfold as it is not the first time a Pope has taken on a “heretic” … to put it mildly … Pope Urban VIII admonished Galileo back in the 17th century for his heliocentrism as opposed to the official position of the Church which was then geocentristic. Galileo was banished to a secluded monastery until his death … unfortunately for the Church in those days poor GALILEO WAS RIGHT ! We can only hope the Benedict and Francis do better !! … although the case at hand has nothing to do with the existence of God but rather with the dastardly pedophile priests , etc …

    And finally for Fast Eddie and Gino … one would think that with such dear bosom buddies who are so knowledgeable in wheeling and dealing in real estate …. that these two geniuses would find a profitable solution to the sale of the property at 144 Lansdowne , also known as Scott Manor … the old homestead and bunker of their guru and president of the Silly Buzzards Society.

    If you believe in eternity and infinity , then the sky’s not the limit !!
    Kid Pokiok

  6. Anonymous

    Thanks Kid Pokiok,

    But for the record, that’s the Silly Buggers’ Society, NOT the Silly BASTARDS Society!

    More to come.

    Slainte!

    dickie

    • Anonymous

      OK Kid Pokiok, we surrender!

      We were hoping that in “the true spirit of Christian charity” you would oblige a couple of former altar boys and catechism students (like yourself) by using your influence with The Pope.

      Obviously, you have mistaken our intentions.

      Perhaps next time we’ll communicate directly with our old financial colleague, Msgr. Georg Gaenswein, a top aide with both Francie & Bennie.

      However, at this time, we’ve had enough of that so-called Papal Bull.

      P.S. How do you think dickie engineered his recent house deal? The power of prayer?

      “Fast Eddie ” & Gino,
      Your unworthy servants.

  7. Anonymous

    Cheers to Kid Pokiok!

    We have been in touch with “the Msgr.” just yesterday and have received his assurance our proposals will reach the Holy Father.

    “Don Giorgio” as we have called him for some time, DOES KNOW about a certain former-fabled CSsR student – linguist, university professor, writer and adventurer – that seems to bear a striking resemblance to you, Kid Pokiok! (Is all this possible?)i

    Believing in the proactive and the importance of Catholic action, we have set certain things in “to assist” this rising star … first cardinal, and then who knows?

    We’d like to have you on-board. Do you follow?

    “Fast Eddie” & Gino,
    Just a pair of Erin Street boys.

  8. Anonymous

    Memo to: Kid Pokiok

    Re: Edward Doucet & Gino “Sneaky” Lucifugus.

    Sister Floozie and myself have noticed communications to you coming from the aforementioned “Erin Street boys” … be aware that these two should NOT be trusted!

    We see an outright attempt here to use the reputation and excellent credentials of you, Kid Pokiok, to further their most questionable motives – right to the very doors of The Vatican!

    As an aside, Edward attempted to con his teachers at Saint Thomas school, that he was in fact a nephew of Bishop Alfred P. Leverman, of Saint John – he even referred to the bishop as Uncle Alfie!

    Just a word to the wise.

    Sister Fartsie,
    Flin Flon

    Editor’s note: Our research has revealed that an Edward Doucet is/was in deed directly related to Bishop A.P. Leverman. The bishop and Edward’s sainted mother were brother and sister.

  9. Anonymous

    Hi Kid Pokiok,

    As you’ve always said, “truth will emerge through open discussion” … this, obviously, is the case concerning poor old Sister Fartsie and we boys from Erin Street.

    Hopefully, now, you might see your way clear to provide us with a reference.

    We’ll be on retreat with the monks at Rogersville this week, but on our return, let’s attempt to communicate further.

    Always in our prayers,

    “Fast Eddie” & Gino.

  10. To Monsignore Georg Gänswein ,
    Prefetto della città del Vaticano e segretario presso Emeritus Benedetto XVI

    Gruss Gott und auch Gruss aus Kanada oder “Das Gelobte Land”.

    Dear Monseigneur ,

    It is with heavy heart that I come before you today to forewarn you that evil lurks within your hallowed walls … not in the form of devilish spirits beamed into your midst by your bitter enemy , Old NIck himself … but rather two conniving weasels of the hominoid species who are “hell bent” on infiltrating the Sacro Sanctum of the Vatican for personal gain. These slithery offspring of deceit will soon be contacting you ….falsely waving my good name and fame to back their request …. proposing that your excellency grant them the honour of collecting and managing all moneys acquired during ecclesiastical functions at Saint Peter’s Basilica …. as well as the safe investment of said funds in sure-bet offshore drilling companies … so-called subsidiaries of their own monster successful … so they say … venture , De Profundis , Domine Inc … From the Depths , Oh Lord Inc … Should the Vatican be duped into awarding them such a windfall , both yourself and Pope Francis will bemoan the 3 words the cunning twosome left out of their company name which was drawn from Psalm 130 where a poor soul , in the depths of despair, calls out to the Lord asking why He abandoned him. … , i.e., De profundis CLAMAVI AD TE , Domine ! From the depths “I called out to Thee” , Oh Lord ! Folks at the Vatican will be reciting the same psalm but adding the following , WHERE IS OUR MONEY ? UBI EST PECUNIA NOSTRA ?

    These two fraudulent , guileful hoodwinks merit a good lesson so I suggest that you invite them over and award them the franchise of fertilizing and mowing the lawn in Saint Peter’s Square . Free lodgings also at Castel Sant Angelo … on the Tiber … in one of the old Papal dungeons at water level … with panoramic view of the historic river and full access to its stifling aroma …. to remind them of back home on Erin Street and the sweet odours of Marsh Creek.

    Eure Exzellenz … Ich bleibe ihr treuer Diener
    Kid Pokiok

  11. Anonymous

    Memo to: The fabled Kid Pokiok

    Re: Your recent indictment re “Fast Eddie” & Gino.

    Thank you for your comprehensive, hard-hitting analysis and report on your two Canadian businessmen.

    It’s hard for me to actually believe what I’m reading here. I DO KNOW the pair personally and would certainly vouch for their veracity. Is it possible that Sister Fartsie has overly influenced your take on the men … who by the way, hold you, Kid Pokiok, in the highest regard!

    I have been in touch with ecclesiastical authorities in Saint John, NB, and they have “no record” whatsoever on the former Erin Street boys.

    Please, Kid Pokiok, could you reconsider your position in light of the above and reassess your stand?

    I understand you love good German beer!

    +Msgr. Georg
    (Yours in Papal White)

  12. Anonymous

    Right on Kid Pokiok!

    Well, you’ve certainly told that Monsignor a thing or two about those two former Erin Street characters.

    Now I know why Kid Pokiok is so revered by so many.

    However, Edward and Gino do seem to have powerful friends in high places, so we have to be aware of even more skulduggery … something we in the convent are most familiar with!

    Ride on, Kid Pokiok!

    Sister M. Fartsie,
    Flin Flon.

  13. Anonymous

    Hi there Kid Pokiok & Lady Bug!

    On this Thanksgiving Day 2013, ALL of the many characters, culprits, con men & women, saints, heroes and thinkers, send you sincere greetings .

    The above cast was “brought to life” and “fleshed out” on: About Pokiok, Bzzz, An Teach Beag & Pokiok Social, for this opportunity to live and let loose, we Thank You!

    Even as we speak , “Fast Eddie” & Gino are organizing a spiritual bouquet in your honour (Sister M. Fartsi gives her approval, too.)

    We thank you again for your good humor, prayerful solutions, forbearance, and ever-practical philosophy … let alone those good, swift kicks to the arse, when required!

    Slainte to Kid Pokiok!

  14. Greetings to all the saints and conmen within 10 kilometres of where I live

    Although the Royal Order of Canadian Turkeys besought and besieged our benign dictator in Ottawa to prorogate Thankgiving as he did Parliament , their gobbles , gobbles have gone unheard … so here we sit today , sucking on plump , succulent , gravy-soaked breasts , smothering our mixture of squash , red onions and cantarels in garlic butter , sniffing the turkey’s ass-end to guess what’s in the stuffing , squabbling with our sibblings over who gets the liver , gizzards and giblets , badmouthing and backstabbing those lucky members of the family who couldn’t make it home , trying to snap the wishbone before it dries out , beating our own personal tam-tams about our many virtues with dripping drumsticks to the rythm of Dies Irae …. and all this followed by a moment of silence wherein each family member reflects upon the infinite generosity of God and thanks Him appropriately for His great bounty. And then all raise their glasses and in unison give further thanks to the Heavenly Father for having sent them a beacon of hope , a guiding light … a model and most virtuous leader in the person of your humble servant and dear friend , Kid Pokiok.
    Happy Thanksgiving to all
    Deepest sympathies to all the surviving turkeys out there who have lost family members during this frightful weekend.

    Kid Pokiok and Dame Lady Bug

  15. Anonymous

    Hi Kid Pokiok!

    Just love your stuff!

    Rev. Tom Foolery,
    Not-a-Hope-in-Hell, Newfoundland.

  16. Anonymous

    Memo to: Kid Pokiok

    Re: Our metamorphosis

    We have just completed our 5-day retreat in Rogersville and for us, life is now at a definite turning point.

    Having undergone days of silence, prayer, fasting and mortification, we are now eager and ready to begin a “new life” here at the monastery with the good monks.

    Gone are the ways of the flesh and monetary gain; the road to perfection and holiness has beckoned and we will follow!

    Thanks to you Kid Pokiok for your splendid example, and faith in “two Erin Street boys”.

    Yours in the power of prayer,

    Edward & Gino.

  17. Reverend Tom Foolery

    May I hasten to thank you for your kind words and support to my cause. High praise coming from a man of the cloth such as yourself makes my getting up every morning worthwhile and more meaningful. I see by your return address that you are spreading God’s Word and Good News to some of the most wretchedly abandoned souls in North America …. the very name of the municipality reeks of despair .. Not-A-Hope-In-Hell !

    A few years back I met a young lady from that area ….. a small village maybe 50 kilometres down the coast from where you are. It was mid June and I had decided to break away from my busy schedule and take a Mediterranean cruise. So I flew to Palermo in Sicily and boarded the Lady Godiva of the Seas. On the second day out I received a formal invitation to dine in the captain’s quarters … along with nine other guests chosen at random so it seems. So at 19 bells sharp I showed up , dressed to kill and hungry as a bear. Seated around the table was the captain , a rather sedate , elderly couple from Germany , a gay duo , young canary and older money bags , from California , a pompous middle-aged French banker and his botox-bloated spouse , a vivacious young Italian couple on their honeymoon , myself and a most beautiful , knock-my-socks-off redhead wearing nothing but a gownless evening strap !! Had she been the ship’s poster girl and namesake , then she’d have played her part well ! What a motley crew !

    About halfway through the scrumptious meal the captain rose , named himself and where he hailed from and proposed a toast to his home town … Genoa in his case. …. inviting all of us to follow suit …. so the first to do so was the old German who barked out , ” Klaus Wehrmacht aus Berlin und meine Frau , Helga …. ” and lifting his glass shouts , ” Es Lebe Deutchland” … and sits down. In turn we all state where we come from … the Californians were from open-minded San Francisco , the French from snobby Paris , the newlyweds from Florence , me , the Kid , from the craggy cliffs of Pokiok … and the bombshell , Peaches La Rump , from Tickle-Me-Arse , Newfoundland on the Amazon Peninsula. She informed us that local historians back in her hometown were constantly at odds over which of the three municipal coats-of-arms hanging outside the townhall …. all three in Latin … bore the “true” original name of their town as inscribed in the Cabot Code. The first one read , ” Titillate clunem meam” or ” Tickle my arse ” …. the second , ” Clune mea titillata ” translates ” My arse having been tickled ” … and the third , ” Clunis mea titillata ” meaning , ” My tickled arse”. She ended by saying that the whole debate has recently turned ugly pitting neighbour against neighbour , even wives opposing husbands , etc …. All in all though I must say that Peaches did her hometown proud that evening …..and with each downed shotglass of elixir …… going above and beyond the call of duty by living up to any interpretation of her complex village heraldry you choose …… and Kid Pokiok was tickled pink to have encountered and shared a copious supper with such a charming young lady.

    Once again , Father Tom , my heartfelt thanks and keep the faith and spreading it to the less fortunate . The devil never sleeps so neither should we !!

    Vigilance itself

    Kid Pokiok

  18. Anonymous

    Hello & cheers to Kid Pokiok!

    Your fabulous adventure aboard the “Godiva” has all the earmarks of a hit musical. What a potential for casting, comedy, romance, songs and great dance numbers.

    Dare I ask, who would you select to play Kid Pokiok? Obviously, it would have to be a matinee-idol type, with a great singing voice, a flair for comedy, and loaded with charisma. Many would say YOU are made for the role!

    I note – with envy – your knowledge and expertise with the Latin. Although I am not of that persuasion, (my roots are Presbyterian) I admire deeply the Roman Church with its traditions, color and many devotions.

    I also note with great faith, your caution regarding the Devil … we Scots often refer to him as Black Donald. Let’s watch out for this laddie!

    Keep me in your prayers,

    Rev. Tom Foolery.

  19. Anonymous

    A fond hello to Kid Pokiok,

    ‘Couldn’t help but notice a recent note to you from Edward and Gino, obviously, still trying to win your approval. Remember, I cautioned you about their skullduggery … well, their latest ploy makes this evident.

    Entering the monastery in Rogersville, indeed! I’m sure a quick telephone call to Dom Riccardo there would “out” these former Erin Street weasels.

    Our church is NO place for men like Edward and Gino. And I’m totally surprised at the response from
    the German Monsignor … he’s been taken in too, I suppose!

    Sister Floozie and myself think of you often and pray for the success of your many quests in this vale of tears.

    (We like the Red Sox too!)

    Sister M. Fartsie,
    Flin Flon.

  20. Anonymous

    Memo to: Kid Pokiok

    Re: Brothers Edward & Gino.
    ________________________________________________________________________________

    I am taking this opportunity on behalf of two of our newest members (Edward and Gino) who have asked me to communicate with you.

    The men, after spending a week with us in Rogersville in prayer, silence, and mortification, have been accepted as postulants to follow our way of life with the monks at the monastery. They wanted you to be aware of their decisions and to be remembered in your prayers.

    After two years, it’s possible that Edward and Gino will officially join the Trappist Order.

    “Esse Quam Videri”

    +Dom Riccardo,
    Rogersville, NB.

  21. Anonymous

    Memo to: Kid Pokiok

    Re: Rogersville update.
    Brothers Edward & Gino.
    _________________________________________________________________________________
    ‘Just to let you know our newest members – Edward & Gino – are settling in here very well.

    Edward is showing unusual interest in our bee-keeping and honey operation, while Gino has quickly taken to the task of pottery making. Both, reportedly, are diligent and hard-working.

    Their temporary vows of silence do not permit them to communicate with those outside of the abbey so this is why I am informing you, Kid Pokiok, of their ongoing progress.

    I know you will keep them in your prayers

    “In hoc signo vinces”

    +Dom Riccardo.

  22. Anonymous

    Hello Kid Pokiok!

    ‘Just a note to comment on the messages – to you – from Dom Riccardo of Rogersviile.

    All this is most edifying as in the case of Edward and Gino, who have entered the monastic life with the holy men at the abbey. There is NO question in my mind that you, in a special way, have played an important role in furthering the vocations of these men!

    Our sad and tired world needs people like you Kid Pokiok, to help keep the fires of faith burning – no matter what the church denomination.

    Yours in prayer & good works,

    Rev. Tom Foolery,
    Not-a-hope-in-Hell, Nfld._

  23. Brief Urbi et Orbi word to my readers

    Dear Friends ,
    Dies irae , dies illa ! Day of wrath , Oh what a day !! it was the day two morally-depraved vipers slithered their way into the very womb of all that is good and holy in this almost God-forsaken province … our last outpost of piety and sanctity ,, the Trappist monastery in Rogersville … I have been swamped with letters in which you express your mises en garde with respect to these two wolves in sheep’s clothing .. Gino and Eddie ,,, and no wonder as already they have fleeced enough sheep in New Brunswick to clothe themselves and all their bummy friends ….. with lots left over to pull down over the Abbot’s eyes !!

    However , and in spite of these warnings … I am withdrawing my open hostility towards these two tapeworms and am adopting a “laissez faire” attitude towards the whole shebang …. biding my time , idling my motor …. treading water … and waiting for the lid to blow off the pot . I have forewarned the holy Abbot Bede ( Dom Ricardo is a pseudonym he must use when dealing with the public at large. My old classmate , himself a Trappist monk at the mothership in Oka , PQ , Louis Cyr , informed me of this a few days ago ), Thus my duty has been fulfilled to both God and mankind.

    Libera nos , Domine , ab omnibus malis ….
    Puer Pokiok

    P.S. May the good Abbot Bede be mindful of the old Irish proverb which states that ” When the shit hits the fan , the best one can hope for is to have time to duck!”

  24. Anonymous

    Reader’s note:

    Why is it when Kid Pokiok quotes those ancient Irish proverbs, they take on an almost pontifical aura?

    Obviously, this man has gifts, wisdom and talents that are most rare .

    Even the Irish are impressed … as well they should be!

    Desi McCrackers,
    A True Son of Erin.

  25. Anonymous

    Under the heading: Could This Be True?
    _______________________________________________________________________________
    Word has it around the old North End that when Kid Pokiok was a very small child in his high-chair, he had an inordinate tendency to throw food all over his mum’s kitchen – and would quite often dump the contents of cereal bowls right over his head!

    You can imagine the consternation of his good parents. However, by the time he was five or six he busied himself in other (not so messy ) pursuits.

    But, is the fabled Kid Pokiok having a relapse?

    Just the other morning, “The Kid” was seen tossing a full container of coffee (with two creams only) all over the beautifully pressed pants and brilliantly polished shoes of one of his unsuspecting “coffee comrades” at TH’s!

    Talk around the city’s water front and near popular places of worship indicates some concern.

    Is this an omen of things to come? And, what if, he starts (again) to throw rocks at windows?

    The Sage Observer.

  26. Is this room dead or what?! Well over a year and no sign of life. The silence of this place is deafening. How’s that for an oxymoron?

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